I may be a foodie in every sense of the term - small portions with high quality ingredients you can’t pronounce that work in harmony with each other. But I can’t lie - sometimes, the urge to pig out on portions larger than life can’t be resisted. I’ve compiled some of my favorite spots and dishes that may make your cholesterol raise just by looking but believe me, are worth every bite!
The Vortex, one of the first places I ever visited in Atlanta, has proved itself to be the inner fat kid’s paradise. With colossal burgers, jumbo portions of greasy sides, enough craft beer to quench all thirsts and yes, a staff with attitudes to match, this establishment brings bar food to a level you never thought possible. My favorite guilty pleasures here? Tots nachos are a must have - these loaded tater tots with the Vortex’s own homemade chili and all ingredients under the sun topped by endless cheese are a meal in their own right. But it’s also worth saving room for their epic burgers that come in a variety of celebrity-poking, clever named combinations (the best in my opinion are the Blue ‘Shroom, Hell Burger and Texas Melt). If you’re feeling up for it, try one of their many burger challenges - the most notorious of them the Triple Coronary Bypass, multiple layers of meat and cheese with grilled cheese as the bread. Fried zucchini are also some of the best that I’ve had and certainly worth the up-charge. Also, the newest addition to the menu couldn’t be more typical: “Hotlanta” sandwich with fried chicken smothered in Hotlanta Hot Sauce, covered in peaches and yes, found between two waffles. Hello, sinfully delicious.
Another famous burger standby, Ann’s Snack Shop, puts fresh burgers and fries on the map in Atlanta in large quantities. The owner Ms. Ann only has 8 seats at her counter but believe me, you should stand the long wait for what comes out of that kitchen. Once you beat the crowds (she’ll let you know if you’re being too pushy), she makes all of her burgers and fries from scratch right in front of you, so bring a drool bucket. Try the “Ghetto” or “Hood” burgers if you’re super hungry but the regular was enough for me with the nearly pound of fries your meal comes with.
I couldn’t do a post like this in Atlanta without mentioning Gladys Knight’s Chicken and Waffles. The name says it all in the heartiness and soulfulness of Gladys’ offerings, always worth the extra post-meal bulge. You can’t miss the Midnight Train, a malted waffle surrounded by 4 fried chicken wings that are truly slap-yo-mamma good. There’s something about breakfast/dinner, sweet/savory combined that makes any hungry fat kid smile. Plus, who’s to say you can’t put syrup on your wings too? Of course, Chicken and Waffles aren’t the only thing that are worth your trip downtown. Try any of the homemade sides, Southern classics like Shrimp (or Fish) and Grits, Smothered Chicken and sweet potato cheesecake that’ll finish any gluttonous meal on the right foot.
Finally, a recent discovery for me personally, Highland Bakery has become one of my favorite breakfast places in Atlanta. And portions are basically out the window with everything you get - so more bang for your buck. My all-time favorite dish is the Peanut Butter French Toast, oversized pieces of bread stuff and smothered in peanut butter, banana and homemade syrup. I’ve to this day never finished the plate, even on my hungriest of days, and usually take home at least 2 meals worth of leftovers. Another star on the menu is their cilantro corn pancakes, layered with beans, cheese, fried eggs and sour cream - this is anyone’s hangover cure. Finally, the Shrimp and Grits with their homemade jalapeno focaccia seems to be an endless supply but its flavor makes it too irresistable to stop.
To all you inner fat kids out there: I hear your hunger and hope that I’ll see you stuffing your face at these places soon. You only live once - you can always nap later.
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